Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Book Recommendation - Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples

This book is a much needed addition to the comprehenisve library of books out there on having and raising Twins and Multiples.  As one mom reviewer put it, "While there are many books on pre-school and younger twins, there's been a need for a good practical book on school-age multiples. My twin daughters are 13 and I wish this book had been around when they were 5!"

There is no doubt that the needs of your multiples change a lot when they start school and this book helps parents navigate effectively through this time in their lives.

Check this great reference book out on parenting twins and multiples once they are in school.

Book Description:  
Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples  By Christina Tinglof 

Real-world advice for when your twins' and multiples' concerns go beyond "Should they dress alike?"
Should your twins be placed in the same homeroom at school? Does one of your kids have a harder time making friends than the other? How healthy is competition among your triplets? Christina Baglivi Tinglof, author of Double Duty and a mother of twins, expertly guides you through your kids' school years, from the first days of kindergarten to the always drama-filled years of high school.

Drawing from the latest cutting-edge research and hundreds of parent-tested tips, Tinglof offers proven advice to:
Encourage individuality
Foster positive sibling relationships
Discipline effectively
Deal with one child developing faster than the other
Manage common speech and reading difficulties

Review on
This book addresses an exceptional array of situations encountered by multiples and their families. Chapters are devoted to understanding the twin relationship, developing identity, and promoting individuality. Discipline and education issues are each explored in depth. Competition and cooperation as well as fairness and fighting favoritism are discussed. Relationships between parents, siblings, and the multiples are addressed with honesty and openness. There is also a chapter devoted to that wonderful stage--puberty! Throughout the book readers will gain insight from the 'parent-to-parent' dialogue. Information is drawn from both scientific literature and interviews with parents of multiples. Burning questions that parents face can be found here, along with some wise and common-sense answers. This easy to read and useful reference will make a tremendous addition to any parent of multiples' personal or club library, and would be a welcome gift to your multiples' school library too. The information within can certainly be shared with anyone who interacts with multiples! Debbie Ciardi, Nov/Dec 2007 -- From The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs Notebook
This book offers veteran parents of multiples facts and friendly advice on parenting their school-age children between the ages of 5 and 18. As a seasoned writer and mother of three boys, including school-age dizygotic twin boys, Tinglof presents scientific literature and supports it with personal experience and interviews with more than 40 multiple-birth families. The text begins with a general and realistic look at the "intratwin relationship." In particular, the twin bond is demystified and defined as a "high access" sibling relationship. Tinglof explains that a multiple-birth set's shared gestational and developmental environments result in the formation of an "influential and intense sibling alliance." At the same time, she communicates that differences---physical, psychological and social--- are inherent to all multiple-birth sets. This point is emphasized with the fact that while monozygotic (identical) twins have the exact same genetic make-up, they have dissimilar gestational environments that render them different from the get-go. The theme of twins being simultaneously the same and different resonates. The majority of the text addresses multiple-birth specific topics. Accordingly, there is a chapter on identity and individuality, discipline, education, competition and cooperation, fairness and fighting, and puberty. Multiple-birth families with single-born children will be partial to the final chapter, as it explores the family dynamics inherent to these complex units. Within each chapter, Tinglof explores the topic in general and then within the context of twin-type. Tinglof is careful to communicate that while norms exist for each twin-type, individual differences are widespread. Tinglof's focus is squarely on the social development of multiples and their broader family system. Ultimately, her goal is to advise parents on how to help their multiple-birth children balance their individual and multiple-birth selves. She does this by offering parenting recommendations in each chapter. Tinglof recognizes that the implementation of recommendations is not easy, since parents are often required to support two or more people in conflicting roles. The paradoxical parenting task of encouraging one child without diminishing the other is often called upon. Specifically, parents are counselled to provide each child with separate belongings, along with a place to store them. Separate physical places are also advised. She is clear that these places do not have to be formal. Staggered schedules and makeshift room dividers are examples of practices that can support this objective. To foster strong and separate identities, parents are encouraged to take many individual photographs of each child along with the usual array of "group" photos. For the same purpose, parents are counselled to ensure that their multiples are dressed differently, thus encouraging others to relate to them as individuals rather than as a unit. Likewise, friends and family are to be told to limit/eliminate comparisons. Of course, cherishing the multiple-birth experience along with its intrinsic rewards is communicated. The intricate and delicate act of harmonizing extremes is required at all times. Thus, while parenting twins---or being a twin, for that matter---is not easy, it is always inspiring. Dr. Audrey Huberman, Oct 2007 -- From Multiple Moments (Multiple Births Canada)
Mother of twins Christina Baglivi Tinglof, the author of the popular, Double Duty: The Parents' Guide to Raising Twins, offers proven advice and parent-tested tips for parents of twins and higher order multiples who are entering their school-age years. From kindergarten to high school, twin children face unique challenges and opportunities. As parents encourage individuality of their twins, they must consider how to handle speech and reading difficulties, encourage positive relationships between the twins and other siblings, and manage effective discipline. Tinglof also offers advice on how to respond and encourage when one child develops faster than the other, and manage competition between the children. A major issue for many parents of multiples is the question of whether twins should be placed in the same classroom as the other. Tinglof offers helpful suggestions and strategies on this important topic, and provides assistance in making the best education decisions. Changing family relationships are also discussed by Tinglof, for as the twins grow and mature, their relationships between each other and their siblings, and parents, will change. Fairness and favoritism is a key topic that Tinglof explores, offering insightful observations and advice on parenting behavior that does have consequences. Parents of twins growing beyong their toddler years will find this book to be a useful tool in their decision making process. --Twins Magazine, 2008
List Price: $17.95
Check out what others are saying about Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples
Average customer review:
8 Reviews
5 star: (6)
4 star: (2)

4.0 out of 5 stars  By
Saralee Boretz "book mom" (Upland, CA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples (Paperback)This book fills a gap in the books available on parenting multiples. While there are many books on pre-school and younger twins, there's been a need for a good practical book on school-age multiples. My twin daughters are 13 and I wish this book had been around when they were 5!
I'd recommend this to anyone who has children who are starting school soon or who has specific issues that they'd like to learn more about. It's full of good advice and a very quick read.
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5.0 out of 5 stars  By 
Busy Mom (Ohio) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples (Paperback)I had given up finding books that pertains to raising twins in the bookstore ... they're all for infants, toddlers and preschoolers, which basically has nothing to do with issues that I face with my twins, even at the same age. The books I've found dealt with surface issues such as how to handle sleeping arrangements, bottle-feeding/breast-feeding and so on. Those books rarely talked about prematurity issues, when one has a disability and the other one doesn't and about preschool issues, such as developmental delays and so on. I didn't expect to find any other resource on raising twins after infancy till I heard this one mentioned in another book club.
It is with great apprehension that I picked this book up and I wish I had read this book when my twins were 3! My husband and I had gone back and forth about whether or not to separate them in two different classrooms and whether or not to keep them together or how to deal with certain issues that developmental delays bring. (No, she does not address that issue in here, but a lot of the issues she does address pertain to classroom separation ...) This book has brought a great sense of relief for this mom!
Here is a sampling of the issues she covers in this book:
Understanding the Intratwin Relationship
Developing Identity and Promoting Individuality
Double Discipline (always helpful!)
Multiples and Education
And more.
This is a book that I will not give up till my sons have their own children. It may be outdated by then, but I can assure you that the practical tips that the parents interviewed by Tinglof will still remain common sensical. Maybe you don't need this book, but if you're one of those parents of multiples trying to make sure you're making the right choices, this book is definitely for you. It might just enlighten your way or perhaps give you a different perspective ... whatever it is, it is just a practical book. A keeper. 8/23/08

4.0 out of 5 stars  By
Sorted Out (Plano, TX) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples (Paperback)This is one of two books by Christina Baglivi Tinglof that I have read and loved it just as much as Double Duty! Deciding on your children's education is so important, not just picking out which school but also how your twins or multiples will handle situations. My husband and I have been working on enrolling our twin girls into full-time school and make the decision to keep them together or not has been a challenge. This book is helping us make a decision based on our children's personalities and needs. Any parent faced with the tough decision should read this book today!
Tonia Tomlin
Author of Chaos 2 Calm

5.0 out of 5 stars  By
Mrs. Shaun M. Bruxvoort "Mrs. Bucksnort" (Beaver Dam, WI USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples (Paperback)Thank you for the reassurance that my girls are normal ... well normal twins. Twins are a totally different world, and I'm so thankful for this book. There is plenty of material out there for when the girls were smaller, but not so much as they are maturing. Thank you for taking the time to do all the research and put it together. It is a blessing.

5.0 out of 5 stars  By
Cheryl Lage "Author-Twinspiration:Real-Life A... - See all my reviews
This review is from: Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples (Paperback)When I was expecting our twins, Christina's "Double Duty" was hands-down my favorite text. Now that our twins are five and a half and preparing to enter kindergarten, Christina's writing once again has become my go-to resource via her new book, "Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples."
Skillfully weaving the latest scholarly research on multiples with invaluable anecdotal revelations from numerous twin-blessed families, Christina has created a resource our family will be referring to again and again in the years to come.
The text not only acknowledges the unique dynamic within identical and fraternal twins' interactions and relationships, but addresses the additional components of gender match or difference.
With objectivity and respect for varied families and the individuals within them, Christina takes on the often touchy issue of school classroom placement---thoughtfully sharing both studies and multiple multiples families' experience (including her own) in a way that provides assistance, insight and validation.
Can you tell we like this book? To date, I've been happy to loan (or give away) many of my books that I read while preparing for our lives as twin parents to others who've found themselves in a doubly-expecting situation. Christina takes her latest book right on up through life with twin teens, so needless to say, "Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples" is a book we'd recommend (and plan on revisiting repeatedly!) for the long haul.
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5.0 out of 5 stars  By
P. Heestand (Detroit suburb) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples (Paperback)I thoroughly enjoyed reading this volume cover to cover and taking notes as I went. Having made it to third grade, my resources were running thin. So glad to have the additional guidance needed for my almost 9 yr olds!
Fantastic job!

5.0 out of 5 stars By
G. Gilman (Exeter, NH USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples (Paperback)This book is just what I've been looking for. Most books on raising multiples start with pregnancy and end at pre-school. As my twins approach puberty, this book gives insight on what's ahead and how to get there with a little sanity. Parents of higher order multiples and siblings of multiples can find some help here as well. It is a quick read and clearly well researched. I liked the no-nonsence attitude the author expresses and the "From One Parent to Another" side bars.

5.0 out of 5 stars By
Dr. Le-Bucklin - See all my reviews
This review is from: Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples (Paperback)Ms. Tinglof does an excellent job of intertwining research, personal experiences, interviews with other parents, and practical tips to create a resource that is invaluable to parents of older twins. There are very few resources available for parents of school-age twins, and this book fills that need beautifully. I especially like the information on school-related scenarios such as whether to separate twins in school and the chapter on friendship-building during the school years. As a pediatrician and mother of twins, I highly recommend this book to parents of multiples as they prepare for the amazing and wonderful experience of raising school-age twins.

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