Okay - I have been in a funk lately. Just not feeling myself. Low energy, feeling kind of down, not a happy camper. I can attribute it to a lot of things...
- Eating like crap
- Not exercising enough
- Not drinking enough water
- Dealing with kids/ life/ work...stress
- Worrying about the up and coming holidays and all that comes with them
- Getting bad news from a friend re. her cancer battle and getting bad news from another friend who recently lost his mother very tragically
- Worrying about middle school for my oldest daughter and trying to fit in open-house events and school visits in order to decide where to send her next year
- Etc...
But one thing struck me this morning while driving into work that made me think I had another reason why I was feeling a little "Off"...I have barely been able to talk to my twin lately at all. We are both crazy busy and our lives are consumed by kid stuff and house stuff and husband stuff and trying to also meet our own needs . We have not been able to work all that "stuff" around a time to chat for a good-while on the phone. We have Skyped a few times so that the kids could chat and see each other but we have not had one-on-one talking time in months. And I am just coming to realize how terribly long it has been. Plus the time difference between here and Europe just sucks royally and complicates the calling/chatting process even more. For example, when I do have a moment to talk, it may be too late to call there or she may be out with her kids at activities 'cause it is the middle of the day for her while it is early morning for me. Or sometimes when we do catch each other on the phone, I am all peppy and ready to chat 'cause it is the middle of my day while she is tired from her day's busy goings-on and just doesn't want to or doesn't have the energy to have a good chat with me. The whole thing is just a total bummer and pain in the Tookus Marookus.
So I am starting to think that some of my funk and not feeling myself-ness is because I miss my Sissy. She helps me feel the most like "me" that I can feel. I am totally at ease with her and I laugh so much with her (and fight so much with her which sometimes leads to laughter too on the back-end). Our husbands are great guys and we love them dearly and know how lucky we are that they put up with us but I almost feel like there is a chemical-like chemistry between my sister and I that I don't get from anyone else...Like a feel-good pill that makes everything a little better, a little happier and a little easier to deal with.
I miss her...A Lot. And the time that we used to connect (which was daily) just isn't available to us as easily anymore. We juggled the life chaos while still staying in touch before she moved to Germany, but now it is really hard to find the time to catch up.
I have got to chat with her and try to set up a weekly time that we talk to each other and JUST each other. The hubby's need to watch the kids and let us just talk, catch up, laugh and reconnect. I think I really need this and I know if I need it, she probably does too.
So since my twinnie obviously reads this each day ...I say to you my Sister, lets pick a time to "be together" as best we can each week...prioritize us for a change and help each other feel like ourselves again. :):):):)
Love and Missing my twin sister today!
~Cathy
